Are You Unknowingly Feeling Guilty For Relaxing?
Hey misfits. Today, I want to address that feeling you get when you finally slow down: Are you feeling guilty for relaxing? It’s an extremely common form of shame that sneaks up, that self sabotage that kicks in whenever we try and slow down long enough to actually relax.
We instantly have thoughts coming up and questioning it, trying to find a reason why it should be productive, as if we’re not capable of doing something purely because we enjoy it. That little voice kicks in and asks, “Why are you doing this? Why are you wasting your time when you should be doing something else?”
What has you feeling guilty for relaxing?
Should you be more productive?
One of the reasons that feeling can come up when you’re doing something for yourself is that fact that you don’t feel productive. You’re feeling guilty that you’re wasting your time, your resources, your energy, if you’re doing something for yourself just because you want to. It will often linger that you apparently should be putting it into something like doing housework, or picking up more hours at work or doing some more stuff for your family.
Its a need to always be moving, otherwise you’ll be seen as lazy.
The first thing you need to confront is that relaxing doesn’t make you lazy and it isn’t unproductive. You’ve been conditioned to believe that your energy, your work, your time has to be invested in doing things for other people, or constructive, for it to be worth something. Relaxing in itself is actually productive. It is good for your mental health. It is restoring that energy and refilling your cup. Yes, it is cliché, but it’s really true.
If you’re not taking that time out to switch your brain off and give yourself a chance to unwind, you need to take those tasks that have been overwhelming you, put them to the side and do something for yourself. Burnout is going to be sneaking up on you so damn fast if you carry on the way you have been.
Are You Worried about your To Do List?
Another thing that can come up is that you’re worrying about your To Do list. You might be telling yourself that if you slow down, if you stop doing stuff and relax, the things on that list aren’t going to get done. Just so you know, there is always going to be something on your list. There is always going to be another 100 things that are going to sneak up and jump on that list. Even if you cross this list out.
So if you’re stuck in that mentality of “I have to get that list done, I have to get to the end of it,” that list is never going to get finished. The things that you need to do, are always going to have another thing to add to that list. If you’re going to be living by your list (which by the way, you’re probably going about the wrong way anyway), add relaxation: taking time out for yourself, doing something for yourself, because it is just as valid as everything else that you’ve put on that list that needs to be done. Perhaps if it makes it to the list, you might start treating it that way.
You might be feeling fear
Yes, a lot of the blocks in your way will gang up on you and pick on you together. Maybe you’re feeling fear that something will happen if you slack off. If you take the time out, what’s going to happen? What does that scenario look like for you? If you do choose to relax rather than be productive today? Are you worried that you’ll fall behind? Are you worried that you’ll miss out on opportunities?
Are you worried that if you’re not always working so hard, training so hard, or hustling, you’re going to stop moving forward and you’re going to lose everything? That fear will always build itself up more than the actual reality of it, You are not going to have your whole world fall apart if you take a day out for yourself. If it does genuinely feel like that, then you really need to revisit the things that you’re filling your time up with, if they have so much weight and pressure on you that you can’t even take a day out for yourself.
The reason why you need to take that time out, is because working yourself into the ground as hard as you have been, overloading your plate, is not sustainable. Once you’re stuck on this roller coaster of go, go, go then hitting burnout, you’re going to be taking a week off because of the fact that you’re sick, you’re rundown, you’re depressed, you’re anxious, and then picking yourself back up just to do it again. That’s a shitty ride.
What Can You Do Instead?
Rather than just getting stuck in that toxic rollercoaster, the cycle that keeps going around around, do something before hand. Taking that week after a burnout is not relaxation, that is recovery. Relaxation and self care needs to be built into your week. It needs to be valid and valued as much as everything else you do with your time, you can’t be drawing those dregs from the bottom of the barrel and telling yourself that its ok.
Starting treating “you time” with the respect it deserves. Block out time to do this, put your phone on Do Not Disturb, read a book or watch that movie with no one else around to talk during the really good parts, and don’t feel bad about it!
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, like there’s way too many things on your plate and the idea the mere idea of taking a day off or an hour or two hours out for yourself just seems way too unreasonable.
Look at how you’re using your time because something needs to change.
Stay Fierce,
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Original post here: Are You Unknowingly Feeling Guilty For Relaxing?
Original post here: Are You Unknowingly Feeling Guilty For Relaxing?
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