Release Your Self Confidence Issues
Hey misfits! Today, I want to talk to you about a pretty meaty topic – what is causing your self confidence issues? I know it can be pretty intimidating to face these things coming up for you, that may be telling you “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do these things.” The thing is, the moment you start looking at what’s causing them in the first place, is moment you can start facing them head on and start doing something about it.
Are your self confidence issues coming from:
Who you’re comparing yourself to?
Imposter syndrome is a bitch and it gets to all of us. As soon as you start trying to compare yourself to someone else, of course, you’re not going to live up to your own expectations. Stay in your fucking lane. You can’t compare what you’re doing or what you’re achieving by someone else’s standards.
It’s like trying to compare yourself to someone else’s medical chart and trying to diagnose or treat yourself. What they’re doing and what’s on their chart is absolutely nothing to do with you. You’ve lived different backgrounds, you’ve lived different stories. When it comes to how you’re achieving what you want to get out of life, don’t compare your progress, your success, or even your goals to what someone else is doing. Because it’s nothing to do with you. Stick to your own shit or you’ll end up building a life you don’t even want.
Having relationships with other people, friendships, interactions with people who are making you feel inferior?
It might not necessarily be something they’re doing on purpose, or maybe they are just an asshole and it is on purpose. If you’re surrounding yourself with people who are gaslighting you, running you down, telling you that you’re not good enough, or maybe you should just stick to what you’re good at whenever you start talking about big and beautiful things you want to do> Maybe it’s time to start getting some new fucking people in your life.
If you’re surrounding yourself with people who are inspiring you, driving you or pushing you to do better or reach for bigger things, how much of a difference is that going to hold in your life? In terms of your confidence, think of the impact that will have on your belief about what you think you can achieve in the world.
Telling yourself that you’re not living up to your potential?
Have you got a bar that is set for yourself by someone else’s standards? Or by your own? Are you telling yourself that perfect is the only level the only standard that’s going to be acceptable? Are you saying happiness is the bar, enjoying yourself or getting the most out of life is the bar? Because if you start telling yourself that you’re not living up to your potential, that is an entirely different thing than trying to live your dreams. Your “potential”, what you could be capable of doesn’t mean you should go and build your life on that.
I used to get told, “Dana, you’re really good with languages, you could be a an interpreter!” Told it was one thing I should go and do. I locked on to it and thought, “Oh, I better do something with that!” It took me so long to realise you know what, you can actually just enjoy something or be good at something and not have to go and make a career out of it.
Everything you do does not have to become productive. When it comes to what you’re trying to do with your life, don’t think about that degree you should have got just because you could. Don’t think about all those houses you could have bought, just because you could have.
At the end of the day, the only thing that’s really going to matter is what you want to do and what you want to get out of life. Living up to this definition of success that’s been set by someone else, or someone telling you, “you have all this potential, make sure you don’t waste it” – that is them deciding or trying to interpret what you should be doing with your life. It really doesn’t matter because again, they should be staying in their own lane.
Making mistakes that you’re still punishing yourself for?
Have you fucked up somewhere royally in your past? Have you done something that you still hold regret and shame for? Somewhere that you made decisions that at the time you did the best you could, but now looking back, you’re think “I really wish I hadn’t have done that?” Is that impacting your ability to move forward? Is that impacting your confidence?
When it comes to trusting your own judgement, is that all you can think about? Is that one time at band camp where you made a bad decision making you constantly second guessing yourself moving forward? You’re not going to be able to move forward until you accept that shit happens. Dumb decisions were made, you are where you are right now.
Instead, learn from the experience. Look at what you got out of it, what you’re not going to do again, what you might do differently moving forward. You’ve got to do that part, the moving forward, for your confidence to be able to recover. For decisions to be able to be made, for actions to be taken. You’ve got to make sure that you’re looking at the person you are now and the person you want to be rather than constantly looking back and judging yourself for decisions that you’ve made.
If you can do anything for yourself today, look at how you’re treating yourself. Look at how you’re talking to yourself, and think if this was someone else, what kind of advice would you want to give them?
Stay Fierce,
P.S If you’re wanting to create a life for yourself that goes BEYOND setting some goals and using bubble baths as self care, check out how being Fierce AF can change things for you.
Original post here: Release Your Self Confidence Issues
Original post here: Release Your Self Confidence Issues
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